Since November 9th I’ve been fighting a war within myself that I’m certain many others are feeling right now too. On one side is the get up and act part of me that, until this year, was always there but never ignited. On the other side there’s the part of me that just keeps thinking “So when will things get back to normal?” It’s very tempting to give into that side. To scroll past political posts on my news feed, delete my NPR app and go back to pretending that the most important decisions I have to make right now are whether to instagram my day at the aquarium or just go ahead and snapchat the whole thing. Central to this turmoil is apathy. Apathy requires zero effort. Apathy justifies the excuse of “someone else will do it.” With so much changing on a daily basis right now, it’s so simple to just give up; because what really can one person do when everything we’ve understood about our way of life has been turned on its head? As easy as it could be to go that place, I’m finding it a little hard right now to give much thought to “normal” posts on social media. Congratulations Nicole from high school on getting engaged, but I’m going to skip your generic “I said yes!” photo and click on a story about how a green-card holding University professor is currently stranded at JFK airport unable to return to her job because of Trump’s ban on Muslims order. I extend the same disinterest to myself. It feels irresponsible and insensitive to share anything that suggests “life as usual.” Because this is not life as usual. So much of me that wishes we could just jump back to the way things were before. Back when Barack Obama was President of the United States and I felt very sure of what my country represented and the morals it championed. But I realize that means I want to go back to being comfortable. When I would engage but not too much, not enough and never in a way that would make me feel uncomfortable. I don’t have that choice any more. None of us do. There’s no going back and no one is allowed to sit this one out. So as happy as you may be about how pretty your kale and quinoa salad is, save it for when this shit gets sorted out and share the contact information for congressmen we need to be calling instead.
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